The demise of Queen Elizabeth II has prompted public shows of grief world wide – from public gatherings at Buckingham Palace in London, and condolences from world leaders, to people reflecting on social media about what she meant to them.
In fact, the overwhelming majority of individuals grieving or acknowledging the queen’s passing could have by no means met her in individual.
So is that this outpouring of grief of somebody we don’t know any totally different to mourning somebody we have been near?
There are some similarities and a few stark variations. There’s additionally a tussle rising over how the queen is remembered, which may doubtlessly complicate the grieving course of.
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How is that this grief comparable?
Grieving somebody is about reflecting on our lifetime connection and the attachment we had with them that not bodily exists.
Though the queen could not have been a part of our quick household, many people have “grown up” together with her.
Throughout her 70-year reign, she’s been a part of our lives – a part of our grandparents’ lives, our dad and mom’ lives and now ours. Consider these as cross-generational connections. We, collectively and throughout the generations, really feel as if we “know” her.
Globally, we’ve additionally been making ready for her loss. Her superior aged, well being points, and plans for what occurs after her demise have been the themes of a lot media protection.
So this “familiarity” means the kind of grief we’re seeing now can really feel similar to having somebody in our personal lives, then shedding them.
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How is that this grief totally different?
However grief for a public determine we don’t know, such because the queen, could be fairly totally different.
We’re lacking the shut reference to that particular person. Many would not have private anecdotes, or one-on-one shared experiences. We don’t have these intertwined reminiscences to mirror on. As that individual is out of attain, it’s tough to create a picture of who that individual actually was and what they imply to us.
Slightly than reflecting on a person relationship with a liked one, after the demise of a public determine, we depend on neighborhood experiences for a kind of collective grief that shapes how we share our grief on-line.
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A contested grief
As a result of most of us didn’t know the queen personally, our notion of her – her attributes, her persona – just isn’t grounded in info.
As an illustration, how a person may bear in mind her could also be colored by their age, their political opinions, or whether or not their lives have been formed by colonialism.
So a tussle for a way she is remembered – in the UK, within the Commonwealth and extra broadly – is being performed out on social media. That tussle may also complicate grief when folks share differing reactions to her demise.
It raises questions of whether or not we’re allowed to grieve, or who can voice their grief, or even when we disagree whether or not grieving is acceptable.
We have to make house for all these totally different reactions to her loss.
Learn extra:
Queen Elizabeth’s Platinum Jubilee comes amid her declining well being, royal backlash and a colonial reckoning
What function does the media play?
The media performs an integral function in how we grieve.
Actual-time updates and fixed protection, as we’ve seen across the queen’s demise, means we’ve been bracing for the information of her passing. Then the information got here.
However this front-row seat to unfolding occasions and the outpouring of public grief that adopted could be triggering for some.
For individuals who have misplaced a liked one – lately and even years in the past – this rolling media protection could set off reminiscences of what occurred when their member of the family or pal died.
COVID restrictions could have robbed them of their likelihood to ship end-of-life care or attend a funeral in-person.
So this 24-hour information cycle, and being up to date on each single step of the queen’s sickness and now demise, can set off our personal lived experiences of loss. We should be light with these diversified reactions.
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Sarah Wayland doesn’t work for, seek the advice of, personal shares in or obtain funding from any firm or organisation that will profit from this text, and has disclosed no related affiliations past their tutorial appointment.